My heart's prayer...

I am living with vanishing flecks of joy,

And life seems to have turned to an evil mind's ploy.

     My mind and heart are constantly at war,

     Leaving me shaken and disturbed, the worse by far.

Smiles are fleeing and satisfactions are fleeting.

Despair and sorrow are all that I am greeting.

     For days on end, I am stranded in gloom's embrace.
     My own agony and pain, I can no longer come to face.  
All seems lost and yet there's no sign of end.
Fate's strange tricks I miserably fail to comprehend.        
     My existence cries out to be free of fate's grime,

     Before I lose myself to the ravages of time

What have I done to lose my heart's peace?

What can I do, Oh God, for a fresh life's lease?

     Take my pain away, or render me inanimate,

     For I feel forsaken, as though deserted by mine own fate.

Grant me hope so I may live through the fall,

Or wipe me off every living memory once and for all.

In the bargain for growth

Agreed that weddings and festivals are a perfect time for shopping, but it would be dishonest to think that this is the only time we engage in uncontrolled purchasing.  Today, shopping in large malls has become a year-round activity. Shopping centers are a symbol of the surging economic growth, and a demonstration of prosperity that we have attained, in such a short time. The multi-storey, air-conditioned malls are a stunning representation of comfort, choice, luxury and better times. “The food and films in the cozy air-conditioned ambience make it a perfect living room” says a St. Francis student rather brightly. From the affluent clientele to people of the working class, from kids to grandparents, these malls attract everyone sans exception.

For most of us, malls have turned out to be the venue for all occasions. We eat, watch movies, shop, bowl, plan to meet friends, have a romantic date or just generally lounge around at these expansive and ultra-modern structures. Be it a lazy Sunday afternoon, a break from a busy day at work, or a rocking Saturday night, malls are the place to be. With the plethora of activities that one can indulge in, other than shopping, these centers are in fact the perfect recreational and amusement zones for the entire family. Says a home-maker at In Orbit mall, “When one can find everything from groceries to vegetables, footwear to clothes, furnishings to electrical items under one roof, why would they visit any other place?”   

Despite all this, the malls don’t seem to ever give us enough contentment or make us happy. Of course, the large conspicuous advertisements outside the stores would have us thinking that we’d feel fulfilled if we owned that pair of shoes, or we’d probably be the coolest if we frequented that coffee shop. But once we buy something, we only want to buy something more. “It is not uncommon that I go to these malls to pass time and wind up shopping until I shell out every last rupee in my purse,” confesses a student at the City Centre mall. It is clear how this desire to continue buying gnaws at us until we can afford no more.

Come to think of it, these malls solely survive because of the feelings of inadequacy and competitiveness that they shoot into us. “Once you become a regular visitor to these malls, it is hard not to buy everything that you like, but when it is outside your spending range it gives you a sinking feeling of insufficiency that pushes you that much more into buying it.” adds Adarsh, an employee at Thompson Reuters.  We are made to feel that we are lacking something and that we should purchase the goods that they have to offer to outshine others or, at least, to keep up with them. In other words, we purchase to fit into the society that is lately considered to be always á la mode. It’s disturbingly intriguing how this constant feeling of social insecurity and competition can bring us any joy and contentment at all, no matter how short-lived. 

The most depressing aspect about these malls is that they burgeon at the cost of having us forget and even discard completely a range of beautiful, worthwhile and cheaper activities and goods that are rooted in our own cultures and traditions. There was once a time when people had a couple of places to go for a specific product. These places were usually the streets lined with shops, or the bazaars like Sultan bazaar and badi chowdi that helped the indigenous craftsmen flourish. But these places have long lost their charm, thanks to the outlets of Marks & Spencer, Gap, Starbucks, Bulgari, Cartier, Mont Blanc, etc. swarming all over the city. “Our streets are usually deserted these days, unlike just a year ago when it was cramped with people at all times.” says Janardhan Rao, a shop owner in General Bazaar, Secunderabad.

The old bazaars and street vendors may not have disappeared completely, but how often do we venture into these bygone worlds? For this there is no one to blame but ourselves. We must only ask ourselves: What good does it do to demonstrate our growth through these massive concrete blocks when the very roots are wearing away?

A place to return

There is something about this place that speaks about perpetual leisure, quintessential vacation and boundless freedom. The time itself seems to have fallen into a slumber here. The golden beaches, the swaying palms, the sound of the rushing waves, the coastline dotted with bamboo shacks and colorful umbrellas, the water foaming at my feet, the old churches and the Portuguese architecture… are a few things that flood my mind when I think about Goa.

My first trip to Goa was during the Christmas break of 2007. The monsoons had revived the foliage into a lush green, and every patch of unused land was covered in moss. A mood of festivity prevailed during the Christmas week. Local markets were filled with special foods and Christmas decorations. The sound of the pealing church bells and carols filled the air. Houses were decorated with glowing star and little Christmas trees. People dressed in the best of their attire for the mid-night mass was the scene far and wide. All in all, the view was thoroughly elating.

The Beach Paradise

This former Portuguese enclave has been one of India’s most popular tourist spots. The major reason being, its varied beaches each of which is distinct and unique in its own way. The coconut tree-fringed Calangute beach is known for its steeply descending sands. It is amongst the most visited beaches in Goa. The Baga beach attracts tourists from all over with its contrasting scenery. The rocky headland with a river flowing into the sea is a terrific sight. Across the hilltop from Baga is the secluded Anjuna beach. The Wednesday flea market that operates in the shade of palm trees behind the beach is its most notable feature. The Candolim beach, the southern tip of Calangute beach, extends into rocky cliffs above which stands the Aguada fort that houses the oldest lighthouse in Asia. The majestic lighthouse offers a breathtaking view of the Arabian Sea. The fort was built by the Portuguese in 1612 as a protection from the Dutch.

Situated in the South of Goa, is the relatively quieter Benaulim beach, marked by its fishing and rice-farming village with coconut groves and paddy fields. Palolem beach is the prettiest beach in Goa. Its crescent shaped coast is edged by an outcrop of dark rock and boulders on both sides and the arching coconut trees mark its perimeter. On most beaches, travelers indulge themselves in a glass of feni and beer, engage in shopping on the beachside, or have midnight bonfire. All this and the beauty of Goa’s unending seascape surely makes it a fairytale land for the travelers.

Mystifyingly colossal Churches

The Portuguese heritage is noticeable in most of Goa’s church architecture. The colossal structures are simply overpowering. The Church Square in Panaji houses the prominent landmark, the Church of Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception, which dates back to 1541. The Se Cathedral is the largest church in Goa and built in Portuguese-Gothic style. It dates back to 1562. The Basilica of Bom Jesus, another most popular site, displays the mortal remains of St. Francis Xavier preserved in a silver casket. The construction of the Church was completed in 1605. Other churches of interest in Old Goa include The Church of St Cajetan, the ruins of the Church of St. Augustine, the Church and Convent of St. Monica. Without exception, each of these churches leaves the onlooker in awe and veneration. Their high-ceilings, the engraved walls, the ornate tapestry and paintings will remain etched in everyone’s mind, as it has in mine.

To my heart’s content

In Goa, I always feel at home, so welcome and grateful. Here, there is an unmistakable feel of acceptance that exudes from the people who have accepted, as a part of their lives, the diverse cultures and traditions that came with the Dutch, English, French and Portuguese rule. Despite its diverse historical backdrop, its present is so intriguingly progressive that it embraces any culture while retaining its own unique self.

I visited Goa thrice over the last three years, and yet, I don’t seem to have experienced it well enough. It always has something new to offer, and always something better than the previous experience. Goa is just a destination that can be enjoyed no matter who you are or where you are from. I return to Goa every time to experience to my heart’s content: the brilliance of the hundred colors formed by the sun before it sets into the horizon; the timelessness that comes with watching the moon-lit sea and star-strewn sky; the rhythm of the waves as they crash; the whisper of the wind as it ruffles my hair.

I return to Goa because here, it feels as though my mind is finally at rest and my heart at peace.

And the award goes to…

Avatar, Forest Gump, Rain Man, Children of a Lesser God, My Left Foot, Scent of a Woman, are few of the Oscar-winning films in Hollywood. Guzaarish, My name is Khan, Paa, Kaminey, Black, Koi Mil Gaya, Khamoshi, Sholey, are some of the much-admired and celebrated films from Bollywood. All these films have one thing in common. They all portray disability or impairment in one form or another, either through the lead characters or sidelined characters. 

Earlier on, disability was a crutch to evoke either pity or cheap laughs. Hardly ever was it the main theme of the film. Be it a limp or stutter, it was an occasion for insensitive comedy. One of the departures, so to say, was Pathinaru Vayathinile in Tamil, where Kamal Hassan played the limping, mentally challenged hero hopelessly in love. It was remade in Hindi, Solva Sawan, with Amol Palekar. There was an attempt at empathy that went beyond sloppy sentimentality. When it came to blindness, we had the person blundering about with arms stretched out. Nirupama Roy often played the blind mother during the 70s.

 The recent trend, however, has been to make a disabled character central to a film. This started with films like Koshish and Sadma. Today, there is a rise in educated depictions of disability – mental or physical – with a greater sense of understanding and sensitivity.

Undoubtedly, these films have evolved to take a more optimistic and thoughtful approach. The question however is, why do the film juries in India or the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences display such a noticeable tendency to award actors and actresses playing characters with various forms of physical or mental disability? Why are all the newspapers and websites considering the film The King’s Speech as the most likely winner at the Oscars this year? In other words, why do films with disability portrayals attract much more attention from the audience than most other films?

“These films win the awards and get noticed because the subject still has novelty in our formulaic cinema. When a big star plays a character with a disability, it automatically gets maximum attention. I also think our collective guilt, at the way our society treats disabled people with callous indifference or insulting pity, finds expiation by acknowledging cinematic representation of what we don’t empathize with.” opines Maithili Rao, an author, film critic and a member of the Asia Pacific Screen Awards Nominations Council.

According to Krithika Murali, a final year, Disability and Media studies student at Tata Institute of Social Sciences, films with disability are usually the winners because “these films are significantly distinct from the regular genres, and are a result of the filmmakers’ constant attempts to offer something new to the audience.”

In a bid to bring originality in the film, filmmakers often wind up portraying the harsh facts of life with little or no resemblance to reality. This drift from reality is another reason for these films to get noticed. “I find Black offensively insensitive in the way the disabled child is subjected to violence and later, Rani Mukherjee is saddled with a Chaplinesque gait to underline her awkwardness.” comments Ms Rao. She further adds that these films have the right mix to provoke emotions and incite sympathy for the characters and thereby involving the audience in the plight of the actor. “For instance Guzaarish sugarcoats Ethan’s disability by artfully staged flashbacks of his graceful body and manipulates our pity.” she elaborates.

“It is heartening to see that these films have moved away from presenting disabled characters as dependent and helpless to present them as individuals who overcome the difficulties caused by their disability to ultimately emerge as winners, this probably cheers the jury as well, which is why they encourage these films.” suggests Krithika Murali.

Furthermore, there is an effort to inform and educate the audience. The information is given crisply, with humor and appealing drama. “Unlike in Black and Guzaarish where the aim was to create operatic, over the top emotionalism, My Name is Khan and Paa went into the details of what afflicts the protagonists without burdening the characters with self-pity. Once the film gets under way, you see them as particular individuals who are different. This is most encouraging.” explains Ms Rao.

We still have a long way to go before we have an Indian version of the Rain Man or Children of a Lesser God. Disability films should not be awarded because of their intense acting but for their sensibility and adherence to reality. These films have made us realize the existence of these disabilities but this is not enough. “Although films with disability will be appreciated and noticed by our audience, for more pitiful reasons than deserving, the filmmakers must be mature enough to handle these issues so as to make the audience able to comprehend the issue in its entirety. Shahid Kapoor’s stammer in Kaminey should not have become a source of amusement since it may cause for a much greater disgrace for real lifer stammers. Clearly, this was because of the way the film was presented.” believes Krithika. “The effort should be not to capitalize or exploit the ‘novelty’ factor but to treat disabled people and their particular stories with empathy and without condescension.” concludes Ms Rao.

Things that bring me down...

In my everyday life, I come across a lot of people with those little habits that get me down. Like: people having loud conversations over their mobile phones ignorant of the fact that their private affairs are indiscreetly forced upon all those in the vicinity; people prattling endlessly during the movie I paid 150 rupees to watch; people slurping their food around me; people blaring the horns on their vehicles as an aid to their ‘me first, me first, me first!’ attitude while driving to work; auto rickshaws blasting noisy distorted music (if it could be called music) that is heavily loaded in its bass tones; when you are working as a group and a chunk of it is chattering nonstop in a language that I cannot make sense of; people using speaker phones in public places; the jarring ringtones that disturb the silence of a classroom or the peace of an afternoon nap.

In simple words, I think it is noise that annoys me predominantly. And unfortunately, it annoys me more than it should. It is unsettling how such trivial issues sometimes get the better of me. What frustrates me is that people have no consideration for others, especially in public places. I would strictly limit engaging myself in activities that please me to the confines of my house without compromising others’ needs and interests.

Writing My First Blog Post

A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. - Mohandas Gandhi

I find this very true and that is why I have started this blog to pen my thoughts regularly to set into motion an interplay of thoughts. This dialogue is necessary because I believe that our best thoughts come from others.

This is my first blog post ever. I tried to put off writing this post for as long as possible. It's not like I din't want to post, but I felt that the first post must have something very important to say, an insight or a revelation. On this blog I plan to express those thoughts, nomatter how random or profound, which I think deserve a mention. So in a hope that this blog provides not only for a thoroughfare for all thoughts, but also engenders thoughts that are unsought for, I end my post.

Live joyfully and peacefully, knowing that good thoughts will unavoidably lead to good results!